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Kid Wit



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ON THIS PAGE: Where to Send Your Kid Wit | Next Month's Prize | Funny Stories | List of Winners

We at Kern County Family Magazine have decided that parents should be given some kind of compensation for the embarrassment and public humiliation they suffer at the hands of their offspring, so we want you to share with our readers your "special moments" of mortification.

Send your Kid Wit to:

Kern County Family Magazine
1400 Easton Dr., Ste 112
Bakersfield, CA 93309
Fax: 661-861-4930
Email: kerncountyfamily@earthlink.net


April's winner for the best "Kid Wit" submitted in March will receive the "The Siblings' Busy Book"

Submitted by Sabrina Roderick.
After hustling to get kids ready, snacks made, and out the door for work and school, I spilled coffee on my lap as I got into my car. "Darn it! I just spilled coffee all over myself," I said. My 5-year-old Dalton said, "Some days are just like that mom!"

Submitted by Pat Crawford.
My husband & I, along with our 2 y ear old son Christopher were shopping for car supplis at WalMart. My husband placed his keys on the shelf as he placed a car battery on the counter. We paid for the merchandise and headed to the car, but we could not find the keys. We went back to re-trace, looking everywhere. During our search my son's diaper was soaked, so I told my husband I needed to change Chris. I went into the WalMart bathroom to change Chris. As I proceeded to change him and snatched the tape off - lo' and behold there were the keys inside the wet diaper. I was so embarrassed, but laughed at the thought that he would pick up the keys and stick them in his diaper for safe keeping.

Submitted by Renee Christensen.
One morning we got up to make our usual Saturday pancake breakfast when my 6-year-old  son Brayden discovered we ran out of pancake mix. I usually buy a large box that has two bags of pancake mix in the box.

Brayden was so upset  that we didn't have any more of the "two-bag" mix, and insisted we go immediately to the store and buy some. I told him we could make pancakes from scratch and they would be just as yummy. He thought about this for a moment, sighed and said, "Okay, but when we run out of 'scratch', can we buy more two-bag pancake mix?"

Submitted by Jennifer Scoyni.
My 2-year-old son is just starting to talk more. After trying to potty train him all last summer, he learned the phrase, "Bye-bye, Caca" when flushing the toilet.

This is the first year he is attending daycare...a Christian daycare. I was horrified after picking him up from his first day at daycare, when his teacher told him, "Goodbye Trent," and his reply was, "Bye-bye Caca!"

Submitted by Sandra Reyes.
On one early Sunday morning (we had not had breakfast yet) we were attending mass at St. Francis Church.  Usually the kids head up to the alter next to the priest but this time my seven-year-old daughter Brendah was sitting next to me.  After we came back to our seats from having communion, I told her, you must now kneel and Thank God for all the things we have.

She said, "like what," and softly I proceeded to go down the a small list; "a roof over our heads, our health, and food…," then she looked up at me and very loudly said "What food? I haven't eaten yet."  It was very hard to control my laughter.  It was a very embarrassing situation.  Some people sitting near us I'm sure heard her as well.  Now I make sure we have breakfast before attending mass on Sunday's.

Submitted by Kayla Burrow, mother of two boys
After Seeing an IMAX film on The Human Body, my five-year-old and I were at the grocery store.
When we were leaving, we walked past a pregnant woman and he looked up and said, "She got her egg cracked, huh mom?"

Submitted by PEGGY WARD...very busy mother!
A number of years ago our youngest son Brad was in kindergarten at Quailwood School. One Saturday morning my husband was reading the paper and noticed a number of letters written to Santa Claus. It was noted that these letters were from a kindergarten class at Quailwood School. One letter said that he wanted Santa to bring his dad some new underwear, as his were full of holes. It was signed by Brad.

My husband immediately mentioned that it had to have been written by our son Brad. Upon questioning, Brad finally admitted to having written the letter and was quite amused at himself for the humor.

The very next morning we found a gift-wrapped package addressed to my husband with no indication of who it was from. The curiosity was overwhelming, and upon opening we found two packages of brand-new underwear for my husband!

Submitted by TARA KIM, mother of three. 
I was talking with two teachers waiting for my six-year old son, Marc, to show up. The teachers were going ga-ga over our new baby girl when Marc walks up and says, "Yeah, my mom's a cow." I thought he was talking about the baby weight I am still carrying, but instead he points to my chest and says, "Yeah, the milk comes out of those things."

Submitted by JENNIFER WAGNER, mother of two. 
I was in the produce section with my daughter, who had just turned three. She loves to help bag the vegetables and is very energetic and enthusiastic about it. It was when I handed her a large dark cucumber that she held it up high and said to me in a voice loud enough for all to hear, "Look, mommy! A big stinky poop!"



List of Winners:

CONGRATULATIONS TO MARCH'S WINNER: SABRINA RODERICK. You have won the iParenting Media Award winning book, THE SIBLINGS' BUSY BOOK.

CONGRATULATIONS TO FEBRUARY'S WINNER: PAT CRAWFORD, won MOM'S BIG BOOK OF BAKING.

CONGRATULATIONS TO JANUARY'S WINNER: LEILA PAGE, won MOM'S BIG BOOK OF BAKING.

CONGRATULATIONS TO DECEMBER'S WINNER: RENEE CHRISTENSEN, won four tickets to Holiday Lights at CALM.

THE WINNER FOR THE MONTH OF OCTOBER: SANDRA REYES, won a Floamies Suncatcher Kit.

THE WINNER FOR THE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER: KAYLA BURROW, won her choice of either a FloamBot Kit or Floamies Kit.

THE WINNER FOR THE MONTH OF AUGUST: PEGGY WARD won two tickets to Edward's Cinema

THE WINNER FOR THE MONTH OF JULY: REBECCA WATSON won the new Bob the Builder DVD; On-Site Roads and Bridges.

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