Dignity Health Leaderboard 2

MOMMY UNAVAILABLE



Mother
I hit the wall the other day – you know, the wall that separates the kind, sensitive, ready-to-drop-everything-for-the-kids Mommy from the Mommy who's had it up to HERE (imagine my hand slashing above my head)!

And I wanted my kids to know it.

"This is to officially inform you that for the next week, I am UNAVAILABLE to you for the tasks you seem to think I am available for 24/7. This list includes (but is not limited to) picking up friends, taking you to a friend's house…taking you to the mall, picking you up from the mall…taking you to a party…whatever the event is that brings you to me all teary-eyed and anxious, feeling that I need to drop whatever I am doing immediately to tend to your needs."

I'd had a bad week. You moms and dads out there, you know what I'm talking about. The constant barrage of demands coming at me from all four kids to take them shopping, bring the pillow/shirt/toothbrush to the friend's house because they forgot it, take them to the movies, pick them up from the movies (God forbid that I should see the movie with them – someone might see us!) You get the idea.

It wasn't so much the taxiing around that pushed me over the edge. It was the fact that whenever I asked them to do something for me; i.e., unload the dishwasher, fold the clothes, water the plants, etc., the wailing and gnashing of teeth that came from my able-bodied children could be heard for miles.

"You seem to be under the impression that anything you want or need constitutes an immediate call to action on my part, yet when I request you to wash the dishes (which, by the way, were used by you), wipe the counters, or clean out the cat box, you act as though I've requested you to cut off your right arm."

And the "I forgot" defense I heard upon discovering my little "darlings" had neglected duties I had specifically asked them to do was wearing on my nerves, too.

"I clearly spelled out in writing the fact that you were supposed to clean you room, sort your clothes in the laundry sorter, and make your bed; yet when going back to check, I was unable to set foot in the room without tripping over dirty clothes. 'I forgot' is your mantra…"

Now, I can understand forgetting to wrap leftovers before putting them in the fridge or not remembering to write down a phone message, but overlooking a three- dimensional glob of meat spilled on the counter you had supposedly just wiped clean? Gimme a break!

"So don't ask me what we're going to do this weekend, tell me you need your friend to come over because her mother/father/dog/cat/guy next door is upsetting her and she needs to talk, or tell me you have to be picked up at midnight when getting back in to town after a Magic Mountain trip, because it ain't gonna fly. – Love, Mother. P.S. The phrase, 'I'm sorry, I just forgot, is officially banned from the Grimes household lexicon."

I certainly hope this got their attention…I'd hate to have to move to Def Com (Defense Command) four – the removal of fun, frivolity, and all things electronic.

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