Clinica Sierra Vista WIC

weird
Which burns faster, a cashew or a pistachio nut? Which will dance faster in seltzer water, a moth ball or a raisin? Do cats have belly buttons?

It's science fair time again, and these and other questions for the ages will be hypothesized, scrutinized and presented in poster form as thousands of schoolchildren attempt to unlock the secrets of life (win a trophy).

Now I don't know about you, but I couldn't care less about the flammability of nuts. In fact, I was happier not knowing that nuts could burst into flames. Now every time I try to be a good mom, follow nutritionists' advice and give my children "brain food" like almonds, I have to consider the fact that they should not be standing near an open flame. Just one more thing to worry about, along with making sure they are wearing flame-retardant sleepwear in case they burst into flames as they sleep.

And as far as dancing moth balls and raisins who thinks up these things, anyway? Seriously, the only thing I even think of watching dance around in my seltzer water is a lime, straw, perhaps a little "flavoring" (strictly for medicinal purposes, of course), but mothballs, raisins? Oh, I don't think so.

I do have to admit that I have occasionally wondered about the cat/belly button thing. Just not enough to test my theory (here kitty kitty kitty!) and build a poster presentation around it.

Really, what I'd like to see this year as I'm strolling through the aisles of the school cafeteria, sorting through the posters on whether or not dogs can see in color, or which bird seed finches prefer, I'd like to see some research on things that are useful in life things that can really make the world a better place. How about investigating the theory that if you hang a wrinkled shirt in a steamy shower the wrinkles will magically fall out? Will this work for any shirt? I mean T-shirts, well, that's a no-brainer: I don't need to see a poster telling me it works for thin cotton. I'm talking a man's dress shirt. And 100 percent pima cotton, not a fifty/fifty blend or polyester. Now that would be really helpful study.

Or how about looking into the fastest way to stop a full-blown toddler tantrum in the middle of Target? Will a time-out work; threatening to take away something of value to the child, like a toy, candy; or would throwing yourself down right along side the child, thrashing and yelling like the best of 'em work the fastest? I'm thinking answer number three would yield the quickest results, although your fellow shoppers may raise an eyebrow or two as they place a call to the Child Protective Services.

I certainly hope that even just a few of our budding little scientists will decide to study some of the more pressing questions about the universe. Forget about the flammable nuts and dancing raisins. Let's explore some of the real mysteries of life, like how much would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood.

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