Clinica Sierra Vista WIC

Commercially Speaking

by Tracie Grimes
Tracie is a monthly contributor to Kern County Family Magazine

It’s true what they say about TV.  It fries your brain.  Or, in my case, it sparks a little fire in your brain that makes you act like a crazy person.  And, it’s not the actual programming that makes me want to throw the remote at the TV.  It’s the commercials.

Case in point.  Why, in heaven’s name, is it time to get “real” about what goes on in the bathroom?  What goes on in the bathroom is self-explanatory.  Things that go on in that particular room are about as real as you can get.  And, every time I see that commercial, I ask (yell, to be more exact), “Why do we need to get real about what goes in the bathroom?!” causing whichever child is sitting next to me to move away a little bit. 

Being annoyed by the things advertising moguls choose to bring up in family rooms across America is one thing, but it gets downright uncomfortable when some of those hamburger commercials come on the screen.  You know the ones I mean.  The ones where some Victoria’s Secret-type model is in or on a car, eating a huge, messy hamburger while posing in some very un-mealtime looking postures.  And, she can’t possibly be eating those burgers in real life, because she would never fit in the tight clothing she’s barely wearing.

I used to like commercials.  Saturday morning cartoons with commercials…it was like Nirvana to me and my friends.  There were no moments of embarrassment, as far as I can remember.  Women modeling for bra commercials had to wear the bras over a sweater.  If they had a belly-button piercing, we didn’t know.  Sure, we had the “who wears short shorts” commercials, but even they were more modest than commercials today.

And, there were people (or animated creatures) we could look up to in the commercials of the 60s and 70s.  Sugar Bear was soooo cool.  I loved it went that bird went “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”  And, who wouldn’t want to be a Pepper?

There are commercials today I can tolerate and even like (somewhat).  That one where the green line appears running through a house that looks like a bomb went off in it and a frazzled mom is trying to tame her two boys seems real to me.  And, the one where the three teenage girls follow a middle-aged man around saying, “Ew.  Disgusting.  That is so gross” every time he goes to put junk food in his mouth.  These commercials are real for me.  These are my people.

But, I still contend that they just don’t make TV commercials the way they used to.  I want Calgon to take me away; I want to round a corner with an open jar of peanut butter and run in to someone with a chocolate bar.

Stop telling me to “respect the roll” and show me how I can make the whole world sing.

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Tags: Enrichment, Featured Story

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