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So You Wanna Date My Teenage Daughter

by Tracie Grimes
Tracie is a monthly contributor to Kern County Family Magazine
don’t get a lot of sleep these days.  For those of you with infants to five-year-olds, you can relate.  For those of you with 12- to 35-year-old daughters, you know exactly what I mean.

It usually starts somewhere in the tween years -- that interest in boys.  It could be earlier; it could be later.  But whatever age it does begin, you can kiss those days of getting a good night’s sleep goodbye.  I know, I know.  You thought those sleepless nights came to an end when the last baby tooth popped up.  I laugh at your naïveté.

I don’t mean to be rude and “dis you,” as our children would say;but as the mother of three teenage daughters, I feel qualified to mock the ill informed.  I too, in my ignorance, was mocked by motherswith children older than mine, so it’s really just the whole circle of life thing.

Just as you can’t tell a new parent how sleep-deprived, stressed, helpless, and overwhelmed they will be feeling at times, those of us with teenage daughters can’t adequately convey the angst we feel when the boy-crazy days begin.  I have found one piece of helpful information; however, and I’m happy to pass it on to you.

It’s an application, an application for permission to date your teenage daughter, to be precise.  I heard it on a Smalley Podcast (Christian experts in relationships), but decided to give it a little tweak before passing it on to our readers.

Here are my suggestions for questions you may want to ask any young man wanting to “talk to” (aka, our children’s way of saying “date”) your teenage daughter.  You may want to consider sharpening your kitchen knives as the two of you are having this conversation, just to give it a little more oomph.


•Driver’s License Number

•Are you an organ donor?

•Parents’ names

•Parents’ occupations

•Home address

•Boy Scout rank


•How fast can you run the mile?

•What does the phrase “don’t touch my daughter” mean to you?

•Who is your primary care physician?

•Who is your dentist?

•What do you want to be if you grow up?

•How many times have you been pulled over?

•How many nights have you spent incarcerated?

•Do you have any tattoos? If yes, please explain and give location.

These may sound like ridiculous questions.  And, there’s no question that your daughter will refrain from speaking to you for a few days following the interrogation.  But, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  These questions could possibly make a difference in your daughter’s future, not to mention your own.

After all, which son-in-law would you rather have: Chet, the personable professional on his way up the career ladder, or Bubba, the laid back guy who’s always holding out for a “management position” instead of going to work every day and lives with your daughter and 16 grandchildren in your spare room.

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Tags: Featured Story, Tweens & Teens

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