A warning to any parents who look down upon sweets, treats, or anything a parent might offer a child in exchange for going potty in the potty chair, making the bed, or lathering up the entire dog (yes, even those parts) when giving him a bath: This story is not for you. Stop reading now. I mean it.

I was a blatant briber of my children when they were young.  Yeah, yeah…I know about all the studies that show extrinsic incentives can effect a child’s development of intrinsic rewards.  But, I doubt those researchers have ever been stuck in a car with four children who are kicking, climbing out of their car seats (still can’t figure out how the kid pulled that one off), pinching, and shrieking.  And, so, if it took a couple of cookies to get the kid to keep all her clothes on in the store, I stand by my decision to bribe the child into submission.

My bribery didn’t stop there.  I bribed my daughter to let me brush her hair by letting her eat from a bowl of Skittles, as I worked out the tangles.  Cheap toys were awarded each time a child was successful in using the potty chair.  I let them have extra TV time, if they picked up their toys.  There was one time bribery backfired on me though.  Before entering the doctor’s office, I promised my daughter I would give her a dollar if she held still for a shot.  Then the doctor decided to test her for allergies and sent the nurse in with a contraption that must have had about 15 needles sticking out.  “Remember Mommy.  You said you’d give me a dollar for a shot, so I get a lot of dollars for this,” my daughter reasoned.

I think the crowning achievement of my bribery days was the time I told my kids that instead of going to Sea World for the umpteenth time, I would give them each the money I would have paid for their admission and taking them shopping.  Worked like a charm.

That’s the secret to holding onto the power of the bribe as your children grow.  You have to up the ante as they get older.  Want to make sure Prince Charming comes to the door and shakes your hand before whisking your daughter off in his carriage?  One word:  pictures.  Stop your daughter as she rushes down the stairs texting and calling out, “Bye, Mom.  So-and-so and I are going to get ice cream.”  Say something like, “Not so fast there, Princess.  It would be a real shame if I was to go out to So-and-so’s car and hand him this, now wouldn’t it?”  Then, smile like the Cheshire Cat as you flash a picture of her when she was about 18-months-old in a diaper and t-shirt holding an object that looks a lot like a snail in a manner that gives the person looking at the picture the impression that she just might eat it (now THAT’S a Kodak moment).  “And, there’s plenty more where that came from.  Have Prince Charming come to the door, and the picture will disappear.”

It’s a fine line between bribery and blackmail, but candy, Polly Pockets, and cash (at least the 25 cents or dollar that worked when she was 8) just ain’t gonna cut it once those hormones start kicking in.