We thought we were prepared for the first day of school. We had all the supplies: backpack, lunch box, water bottle, pencils, paper, new clothes, shoes that fit.  We had stocked up at every Back-to-School sale at every place in town from Office Max to TJ Maxx.  I got all the best snacks for the kids’ lunches and was determined that they wouldn’t be stuck at the dreaded “peanut table” this year—the table reserved for children whose bad mothers forgot to pack allergy-free lunch items to protect the school’s one student with a peanut allergy.  Allergies are no joke. And neither is me sending a peanut butter sandwich and making my poor child sit at the lonely peanut table and then suffer the humiliation of having to wipe off with baby wipes afterward.  And each of my children has indeed suffered this fate the maximum number of allowable times in their minds (exactly once).

So, everything seemed to be ready.  As my girls set out their first-day-of school outfits the night before, there was nevertheless a palpable tension in the air.  One daughter was sure she was going to have a nightmare, and the other was sure she would have insomnia.  Both of these fears were well-founded: These are their typical reactions to even the most minor stressors. And this was The First Day of School, the biggest day of the year.

Which got me to thinking, WHY is it the biggest day of the year? Why do we do this to ourselves?  We make it into practically a holiday. We shop for it. We start talking about it and planning for it in the beginning of July.  I’m just starting to get used to the summer heat and into the swing of teaching my summer school class when the back-to-school ads start coming on, and I panic every time. I start thinking, “Oh, man. We need new scissors and glue sticks and underwear. We’d better get them now. School will be starting in like two months.” How ridiculous is that?  Maybe if we didn’t make such a big deal out of it, we could all sleep the night before.

So when my children come to me the night before the first day of school and tell me they are scared, I always tell them this little secret: The first day of school IS scary, BUT it is even scary for the TEACHERS. I have been teaching for over twenty years, and there isn’t a first day of school that doesn’t give me nightmares the night before and a stomach ache in the morning.  They laugh and think I’m kidding, but it’s true: Teachers get nervous, too. Every. Single. Year.

There is just something about the unknown that incites panic. I don’t know why it still does. I have gone to the first day of school with a poison oak rash covering my face; I have had technology fail me; I’ve gone without class rosters; I’ve had to move classrooms at the last minute when the air conditioning in my room didn’t work.  What could I possibly IMAGINE that would be any WORSE than what has actually HAPPENED?

So I try to explain to my children that no matter what they are worried about, they are not alone; their teachers are just as afraid of them as they are of their teachers. And that by day two, everything will be just fine.

And for my next trick, I will steel myself for the seductive wiles of the Back-to-School sales.